| shane 的个人资料Nucular weapons R us照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
|
Nucular weapons R uswhere world domination is a click away 2月16日 Whisky shits and cinnamin fartsHey all you filthy uselsess peasants!!
I'm back! Dont worry folks, I'm alive and well. As usual i've been keeping busy finishing my new book "life with a fat whore: the Biff Tanner story" which you can see below. I am currently on location assasinating a high ranked chinese general. he wants to pull out of a very important arms deal. It seems he thinks I am mentally unstable and he doesnt trust me. this deal is important because it will help ease the financial strain of building a statue of myself; cast in gold and platinum, 3 times taller than the worlds tallest building, it will be the epitome of greed and stupidity. Now, in my busy life I dont have much time to play video games but coincedense led to an experience that changed my life, look below to see this future legend. This is a game so incredible it's hard to describe unless you buy the game. I will say this, you absolutely MUST GET THIS GAME!!! It will change your life. the graphics, the story, I mean its compelling, it features talking, acting, adventure, its an American classic!! barbie herself is rendered so realistically that I can forgive the fact that underneath her beautiful designer clothes she has no boobies or genitals whatsoever (although the striptease scene was indeed very appealing and worth the purchase of the game alone). Her horse, Mr. Bugatti is as unforgettable a computer generated character as King kong or golem/smeagal in lord of the rings. I will warn you though, playing the game may ruin your life as it has ruined my life as it is so engaging. I lost my 6 figure job, my Ferrari F430, my wife of 15 years has left me, my cat died and my house has been forclosed on. I wrote this review from a library in the ghetto of bogondo, Oregon. I write this not only as a recommendation, but also to maybe help you from turning your life upside down. enjoy but be careful! anyhoo, i'll report back you you in a wee bit. bye for now!!  P.S~ dont worry! Though despite me losing my job as exectutive editor at TIME magazine and my divorce with champion shoplifter Winona Ryder, I am still a fierce wrestling champion and the third place world nuclear superpower. construction on the statue continues although the penis and ballsac alone will deplete Canada's gold and diamond production. At least my huge penis will be the sole savior of their fledgling healthcare.. 1月13日 A short biography of your good friend jeebus.I am 7 foot 3 inches tall. I am a balding native american with my remaining hair dyed a mixture of blue and green. everywhere I go people stare at me or attack me. i have a P.H.D in nuclear physics at oxford university and i also went to clown college. After I was realeased from prison for stealing plutonium i reluctantly took up my new profession as a sewage diver. As time progressed, I got better and better. I became very passionate about my trade. Almost in the blink of an eye i was a world champion. As well, I was getting wealthier by assasinating polititions and celebrities for money. There is a few conspiracies I am proud to be the cause of. my business became a huge empire of everything shit and toilet related. I used my vast wealth to purchase my own island, complete with a small army of well armed men and servants. Part of my island is dedicated to cultivating herbs and fruit, such as marijuanna.I have also amassed a very large arsenal of nuclear, biological, and other experimental weapons. I named the island Jebus's island of death, otherwise known as Jeebusland. Everything is going great, except for a nosy british spy. but he will be taken care of.
I am looking for an understanding, open minded girl who enjoys the occasional monster cock and long, romantic walks to the liquer store (to aquisition more alcoholic beverages to guzzle down). As well, my favorite hobby is getting my extra large cock sucked while negotiating a difficult turn around a tight hairpin at 120mph in my Ferrari F430 Modena so I prefer a girl who can drive a stick shift while sucking on a stiff shaft. 9月25日 Who pissed in your corn flakes?Hey turbo tits, its big bad JEEBUS again. even though i have my own island, instead of making my domesticated native slaves make beer on site, i prefer to get it from canada. it is truly fantastic, and gets you ham-gooned drunk faster than you can pull it out of fat bertha before you end up potty training your hideous kid while that fat bohemoth chugs malt liquer and screams at the T.V. anyhoo I was just letting you know that operation Bush B Gone is fully underway and i expect nothing less than your full financial support. I cannot give you my location because i am currently hiding in Leipzig, Germany. giving up my whereabouts could jepordize the mission. As for the fight between Vanilla Chubzilla and Gilbert, Chubzilla was blown into three chunks by Gilberts experimental depleted uranium cannon. there was no clear winner because although Gilbert was the last one standing, he later died in the medical hut resulting from the severe injuries chubzilla inflicted onto him. He had lost a leg, shattered his pelvis, jaw and skull, broke one of his remaining legs and recieved many deep slashes, puncture wounds, and bites.i will probably clone both animals again. since no winner was decided, all of the money from bets taken on the fight worldwide (all $347 million of it) will go straight into my pocket. and by pocket i mean my various banks, investments and funds. All and all, everything worked out fine. I should inform you that in my WMD emporium I have a special 50% off sale on two upgraded Tommahawk nuclear cruise missiles. If you you use your terrorist club gold card you get 3000 air miles and a jihad coffee cup. keep taking ass and kicking names.
your buddy, Jeebus
 8月3日 An update for all you jeebaholics!Well, I've began my new cloning program here on Jeebus's island of death. What am I cloning you ask? Well, for starters i'll assure you im not cloning any shitty animals like sheep or bunny rabbits or turkeys, nope not me. I have been hard at work cloning giant prehistoric cockroaches as a transportation replacment for my army. So far the roaches have killed every last bug expert i brang in to train them. they are ferrocious beasts, very impressive. My crowning achievement though, is operation guard dog. What I did was as well as getting ancient roach DNA, I also found velocoraptor DNA! With my previous experience wrestling great white sharks I have found a way to tame one. He is as docile as a puppy, but when I give him the word, he'll tear you to shreds in less then 5 seconds!! I know because I tested it out on many unlucky servants. I named him Vanilla Chubbzilla. He is my new best buddy next to gilbert, my canadian combat goat. I figure gilbert with his experience he will kick chubbzilla's ass. We will know for sure on friday, i'll be taking bets starting wednesday. Gilbert insisted on a fight to the death because he's jealous. Little does he know i've got a crap load more raptors on the way. As soon as my kidnapped scientests find T-rex DNA, i'm going to name the first one Jumbo Columbo, after my ex-wife. well, farewell for now until I either write another entry, or invade your country. Either way you'll be seeing me. 7月23日 fighting terrorismi have a new passion, fighting terrorism. i am not a traditional soldier like those silly american bastards, I am fighting the war my own way, the canadian way! i have a trained imperial canadian combat goat named Gilbert. he's been retrofitted with impenitrable steel armour and stinger missles. i am armed with an M60E3 machine gun and since my campaign has started, me and gilbert have killed over 300 confirmed terrorists, 100 unconfirmed terrorists and sadly, 1430 civilians were caught in the crossfire. at nightfall we capture a restaurant cook and force them to cook me a delicious meal, then i kill him and gilbert eats his carcass.this has become a daily ritual. in order to stop the car bombings we randomly blow up every car that is driving too fast, slow, or at a suspiciously normal pace. gilbert has been a great companion exept for when he tries to have sex with me, this has been a problem with combat goats as they get restless when they dont get sexed up. so, to solve this, and to keep gilberts focus razor sharp. i let him have his way with the cook before he kills him and eats him. its horrifying to watch. on that disturbing note, i bid you all good day, for my adventure will continue on as we search for more scummy terrorists. 
|
|||||||||||
|
|
